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How NOT To Sell! (humor & reality found here)
From Deb at FutureQuest on 20 October '98
Sitting here getting some work done and playing on Deadlocks forums when the phone lights up.

Andrew (love of my life and the FutureQuest Sysop) answers the phone. That's when it begins!

The call is from a sales rep trying to sell us a web site and banner advertising.... hmm this is cute... Andrew decides to play with it.


"What can you offer me?"

Sales Rep - "A full standard web site along with submission to all of the top major search engines found on the Internet providing over 40million people the ability to view your web site that we create for you. Additionally we will create and distribute banner ads for your web site to a variety of other large company's sites for even more viewings!

"Wow, that sounds pretty good! how much is it?"

Sales Rep - "The first month is FREE after that it's only $30 per month on a month to month basis!"

"Double wow... that is a good deal!" (starting to consider actually using these ppl for at least the banner ad placements now)

Sales Rep - "I need some info from you and I'll connect you to our Web site designer to begin. What address would you like on your Web page?"

Andrew - "Well I would like it to simply hyperlink to my current Web site. http://www.FutureQuest.net"

Sales Rep -- "Excuse me but what is a colon? I can't find it on the keyboard." (Andrew explains) "Oh ok... now a slash?"

SIGH!! you all see where this is going right? *LOL* after a very long and confusing conversation to help this lady get our information we get the Web Designer... finally someone who gets it! right?

Andrew - "May I see a sample of a standard Web page already created?"

Designer - "Ummm well ummmm I might be able to send you some information"

Andrew - " OOOooK well, can I see a sample banner ad?"

Designer - "Ummm well ummm errrr not yet but you will get to approve the one we make for you before it goes online"

Andrew - "OOOook.. well, can you tell me where the banners would be placed?"

Designer - "Oh yes they will be on the Internet displayed on a variety of big companies web sites! Not on the standard web pages mind you."

Andrew - "Great, can you tell me some of the companies it will be on then?"

Designer - "ummm well errrr I think we're in the process of changing companies"

Andrew - "Changing EVERY company you display ads on???"

Designer - "ummm well ummm actually I think there are two and we are changing both"

--- Ok so this is obviously not going to well (see what asking simple questions can accomplish here? hehe) then something interesting happens.

New Voice on phone - "Hello this is ***** the designer's supervisor. I've noticed this call isn't going to well may I help you?"

Andrew - Well I'm trying to get some simple information.

Supervisor - "You guys are a competitor of us! We don't do business with competitors!"

Andrew - "That makes sense but you called us....

Click -- she hung up on us.

So if you'd like to receive the awesome deal described above.. the url of the place offering it is http://www.quikpages.com (took Andrew asking 6 times for them to figure out the correct URL by the way)

If you are going to hire help to sell your products... try to get someone qualified, better yet train them..... A call like the one described above will hurt..cuz ppl may post messages like this one *g*

Yours In Heart
Deb

p.s. Andrew turns EVERY sales call into a sales call of his own... if you are trying to sell why arn't you on the Net? I only do business on the net... etc etc...


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